May 16, 2025: The Space Phone

I never could figure out that dang button.

During my teen years, a 150-pound beast dominated half our living room. Not a recliner or a piano. It was our television.

A Zenith “Advanced System 3,” encased in a maple wood console which doubled as furniture and fitness equipment. Moving that thing was a backbreaker.

The whole setup resembled a spaceship control pod. What made the TV truly unforgettable, though, wasn't the size, but the futuristic Space Phone feature.

Straight out of 1980s sci-fi, this little innovation claimed to make and receive calls through the telly. In theory, someone could mute Magnum P.I. and chat with the world like some armchair astronaut.

But nothing happened, no matter how many times I mashed the button.

Over and over, I tried calling through the fancy cabinet, convinced the legendary Space Phone would finally come alive. It never did.

I thought of my old boob tube today when I read about the Apple Vision Pro headset. Some buyers find the gadget underwhelming, especially for the $3,500 price tag.

Turns out, goggles with a screen aren’t the must-have fashion accessory people expected. The weight causes neck pain, and the app selection is meh. Plus, wearers feel self-conscious in public.

I guess tech problems will never end. At least my Zenith never made me look like a ski instructor.