May 25, 2025: The Silent Upgrade

I couldn’t stop staring.

Tried not to, honestly. I wanted to be subtle, but he didn’t make it easy.

One of my past colleagues, a man bald as a billiard ball, walked into the office one morning. And he suddenly had a head full of hair.

Lush, youthful locks, the kind in a shampoo commercial that blows in the wind in slow motion.

And he said nothing. Not a word. Just sat down like any other Monday.

If he had been a good friend, I might have teased him or at least cracked a joke. But we weren’t that close, so I found myself in an awkward situation.

It didn’t help the toupee was… a cheap model. Like someone had gently balanced a cat on top of a watermelon and hoped for the best.

I didn’t know what to say. “Nice haircut”? “Well, alright”? I believe I landed on, “I like the new look,” which felt safe and vague enough.

I’m all for people doing what they want. Want a hairpiece? Go for it. Want to glue a handlebar mustache to your forehead and call it art? Be my guest.

You only live once, so who cares what others think.

This week I read toupees are making a comeback with millennial men. But the current term is “hair systems,” which somehow sounds both cooler and more suspicious.

TikTok and Instagram have started the trend, and folks can now daily reinvent their appearance. Do short on Monday, bleach it blonde for the weekend, or rock a mullet on Thursday.

So, if you ever debut a new hair system, throw us a bone. Crack a joke. Wink. Something. At least take some of the discomfort out of the room. Because none of us believe it grew that way magically overnight.

Whatever you do, just own it.